We all remember the first date, first kiss, first job, first day at a new school, first time eating a cake pop.
That nervous feeling, the feeling that something new and wonderful has just begun.
Firsts are fun. They make the highlight reel on the story of our lives. We talk about them, laugh about them, and sometimes wish we could experience them again.
First are also simple. It’s easy to see why they’r exciting and romantic, because there’s not much to compare them to.
Which also makes them seem like something we miss out on down the road. “Wait, I’m in my thirties and haven’t had too many firsts in a while, outside of new bills and responsibilities. Where’s my magical moments?” We’re sad that there are no more first kisses, first dates, although cake pops can still be pretty magical.
But maybe we’re looking at it all wrong.
Maybe our firsts don’t have to be our lasts.
Maybe life is meant for not just firsts, but for the familiar. Maybe things like relationships are meant to be uncovered, slowly, year after year, as we discover new meaning and layers to our lives. Like a book you read over and over, finding new layers you hadn’t noticed before. Maybe there are wonderful treasures waiting to be found, which provide much more significance and purpose and satisfaction than the firsts of our lives. Maybe the firsts of our lives are just opening the door to new firsts. And while some of those new firsts may not be as dramatic, I wonder if they provide more lasting impact as the years go by?
Joy and I have been married 8 years today. I’m finding through the bustle of 3 kids running around, working, paying bills, fixing up our house, and all those things that we do, that the real beauty of being married is much less about our firsts, and much more about a continual uncovering and discovery of who Joy is and how we help each other. The appreciation, satisfaction and love grow in a much more real way than our firsts. I believe there’s a strength, a truth, and a beauty that are only achieved through time, and that far outshine chasing new firsts.
Firsts open the door, but it’s what inside that’s the real treasure.